Expectations Vs. Reality of Moving Away From Home

Hello Procrastinators!

This week we're going to be taking a look at the expectations vs reality of moving away from home. It's something we all have to go through at some point and when it hits you're like a snail out of its shell, vulnerable, stinking and cold. 

1. Being warm

Expectation: I'm going to love living in such a cute little house with the heating always on full blast all cosy and warm in the living room with my friends!


Reality: It costs HOW MUCH? Fuck that. Get your jumpers on lads!

2. Sharing food

Expectation: It's going to be so great this year. Me and all my housemates can fifth the food bill and we can all cook family meals together and eat around the dinner table.


Reality: That bitch ate TWO more chicken nuggets than I did. And she got a handful more crisps. That's it. I'm done. I'll buy my own food. FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

3. Your student house being homely

Expectation: FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS. THROWS. CUSHIONS. CANDLES. THE FIRE ON.


Reality: Someone stained my throw with a glass of coke and didn't even wipe it up? What kind of slobs am I living with? Fine, let's all have the ugly green sofas on show! 

4. Getting to decorate your room the way you want

Expectation: FINALLY my dictator parents can't tell me what to do. Oh my god I can have ALL my Yankee candles on display and all my favourite band posters up so everyone can know how cool and edgy I am.


Reality: LOL NOPE. Bitch you're not allowed blue tack, sellotape OR candles. That shit is worse than drugs to the room inspectors. Keep it out or keep it hidden unless you want a £50 fine.

5. Making loads of cool new mates

Expectation: Everyone I live with is going to get me. We'll be BFFs forever and lifelong pals.


Reality: You end up with one person with severe socialisation difficulties, one person who's too goth to talk to anyone wearing colours, a chav who you fear might stab you at some point while you sleep, and a guy you're pretty sure is a necrophiliac cannibal. Nope nope nope.

6. Having a clean kitchen

Expectation: We can have a cleaning rota! We can all take turns and share all of the household chores so we can live in a well cared for, clean home and never be embarrassed.


Reality: GUYS MY MUM'S COMING TOMORROW! EMERGENCY CLEAN-UP REQUIRED! HEEEEEEEEEELP! 

7. The bin being taken out

Expectation: We can all take turns like decent human beings to take the bin out because really no one likes touching bin juice.


Reality: Two housemates deny the full bin is even in existence in the kitchen and keep piling more junk on top of it, one housemate is in full meltdown mode over how messy everything is, and one housemate ends up being the skivvy who always has to take it out.

8. Life not being too expensive

Expectation: I can't wait to go out all the time and have fun and go for meals and buy new clothes and life is going to be so amazeballs and exciting.



Reality: I didn't need those new tights anyway, these have only got three ladders in. I can pretend I'm going out for a meal by eating on the front doorstep. We can go to the Railway museum for something to do tomorrow because I heard it's free entry. Those 9p noodles look really good. Right, guys? Right?!?!

9. Having crazy house parties

Expectation: Mum and dad's not here anymore, FUCK DA POPO LET'S PARTY!



Reality: Guys the on-campus warden's just said we can't blast Celine Dion that loud any more and if we keep it up she'll make sure we get kicked out. Movie night, anyone?



What do you think? Can you relate to any of these or have you got any more you can add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!

Jess x

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Expectations vs Reality of Living in York

Hello Procrastinators! 

York is a beautiful city entrenched in history, with plenty of sights to see and places to eat and drink. It is the ideal place to spend a weekend with the family or as a romantic getaway. Living in it, however, is a completely different story.

The Minster

Expectation: I can't wait to be able to look at the Minster everyday and admire its beauty. It truly is one of the finest pieces of Gothic architecture around. I'm sure the prices are reasonable to look inside it.

Reality: It's just a massive fucking church which is constantly surrounded by gormless tourists making it harder to walk into town. Yeah it's pretty but like every building, once you've seen it, you've seen it. 10 fucking quid to look inside?!

The Shambles

Expectation: Wow it's just like being back in the Victorian period. All these little shops look so unique and cute. It is like I'm living in history.

Reality: Bloody hell these streets are narrow. Why is everyone pointlessly meandering at the speed of a snail? Well at least the shops prices must be reasonable. Or not.

Nightlife

Expectation: York has the greatest concentration of pubs and bars in the country so the nightlife must be pretty good, right? There must be loads of bands playing, celebrities appearing at nightclubs and plenty of clubs to choose from.

Reality: Pretty much every club has a sticky floor and charges you a fiver to stand on it. There's no arenas, so no bands, comedians or anything decent. But there is opera. Great. One saving grace is the amount of varied pubs and cocktail bars. But you might as well just travel 20 miles and go to Leeds.

Things to do

Expectation: With the National Railway Museum, Jorvik Centre, Dungeons and much more, there must be plenty of things to do. York's well known for being a tourist magnet, so they must all come for a reason, right?

Reality: For a weekend you can easily fill your time with York's attractions, but much longer than that and you're going to struggle; especially on a tight budget. The few free things (the walls, museums, etc.) soon wear out and you'll find yourself struggling to find things to do. 

The people

Expectation: York is advertised as being one of the friendliest and most welcoming places in Britain. It is famous for being depicted as a posh, upper-class, Conservative haven.

Reality: This expectation is largely true actually. As an outsider, the residents of York are rather odd. It's difficult to pin it down, but there's just something peculiar about them. Maybe it's the real reason tourists flock to York.

York can be a fantastic place, and when I'm away from it for a while, I miss it. But I'm a cynic. Whilst it isn't the most practical place to live, it's an excellent place to visit or retire. But that's about it.

Connor x

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Review: Dusk

Dusk is well known in York for being a chill place with great drinks offers. I tried it out to see just how good the offers were and if it was somewhere we should add to our list of places that offer drinks strong enough to prepare your body and soul for the sticky depths of Salvation on a student night.

My first reaction to the place was how nicely it was decorated. It's intimate and cosy with fairy lights, wooden tables and as an embellishment for each table. In the same vein as trying Fiesta Latina, I've tried to sample places that aren't chain brands and are independent with their own distinctive flair.

Barack Obama is a tasty guy

We chose a table in the smaller back room which was empty. The artwork dotting the walls were unique sketches of tattooed men and women that helped to accentuate the uniqueness of the place. We grabbed a menu from the bar to check out the cocktails and found that for the two for one offer the two cocktails had to be the same. So we paired up and tried to diplomatically decide which cocktail we would both have – which is actually kind of hard when the cocktails are given celebrities’ names and witty descriptions that give no indication at all of what is actually in the drink. So we debated and finally took a chance with Barack Obama, because he’s a cool guy, and from watching the bartender pour our drinks (sans the expertise of Fiesta Latina’s entertaining bartender) I found that it was a mix of rum, amaretto, orange juice and grenadine. It sounds nice in theory but when it is served in a thimble sized glass with just a splash of mixer it was so strong it took a couple of sips to adjust myself to the internal burn. Also, it was served without ice which I thought was strange for a cocktail. The other two of us got a cocktail with whiskey, rum, coke and Guinness, which doesn’t even sound nice in theory, but actually it was quite tasty and served with plenty of mixer. Other great deals were £2.50 glasses of wine or bottles of beer – tempting.

It's like Guinness for weaklings

The low lighting was cosy and relaxing with chill music playing. This would be perfect on a night out when your lipstick is already smeared and your hair’s a mess after walking in the wind – so the darker the better, really. This would also be great for romantic date nights too. The staff were very friendly and welcoming and explained the ingredients to any cocktail we asked about but it was kind of annoying having to ask every time. One guy took the time to ask if we wanted him to take a picture and patiently waited while we had to sort our phones out.

However, taste aside, two cocktails made with branded alcohol for £4.95 is a pretty amazing deal especially in York aka rip off central. During a normal night being able to practically shot a cocktail would be quite handy in getting to the stage of mortalness but for casual drinks it was just too strong and too confusing. However the welcoming and lovely staff just about made up for it.

7/10

Jess x

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Review - Fiesta Latina

What a hidden, ignored gem in the centre of York!

Fiesta Latina exterior

York, though it prides itself on being full of independent businesses, has a surprising lack of non-chain brand restaurants. My boyfriend, his parents and I went for the early bird special so we’d get the 25% discount which you can grab every day between 4-6pm and on Tuesdays and Sundays all day for students – which, on our tiny-weeny budgets, is great.

Potato skins and half-eaten cheesy garlic bread

The starters were the best part about the whole meal, perhaps because I was so ravenous I’d happily have eaten the plastic Native American statue we passed on the way in, with potato skins and garlic bread slathered in melted cheese accompanied with a fruity salsa. My only qualm was the cheesy garlic bread was actually more like cheese on toast with no garlic to speak of. I love my garlic and this was a bit disappointing. A little bit off-putting while we ate were the huddle of four waitresses who would stand next to the bar near our table and chat together without even an attempt at looking busy for the most part of our time there. I’ve been a waitress and we were never allowed to stand idly around, there is always cleaning or tending to customers to be done.

Enchilada main course

The mains were a hefty portion worthy of the most clinically obese patient after a fasting session. My boyfriend couldn’t even finish his, and he finishes everything. It was delicious too and I wished I could have had some Hunger Games-style feast drink so I could have eaten it all. I had enchiladas with yet more melted cheese. Again the only problems were, because I chose mild (because I’m a pussy) the enchiladas were kind of flavourless. They hadn’t replaced the spice with any other herbs, but the cheese kind of made up for it. I love cheese.

Shirley Collins cocktail

They do 2-4-1 cocktails too. And it would be rude not to, really. I had the Shirley Collins (wahey) a raspberry cocktail with gin and it was delicious, you couldn’t even taste the alcohol so obviously I accidentally drank it in about three gulps. The bartender – a total Ross Kemp lookalike - was extremely professional and talented with added flourishes and bottle-spinning so the cocktails were an experience as well as a tasty treat. He chatted with us while he made our drinks and was funny too. Damn him!

Ceiling art

The decor of the place was really unique and fun to look at. Hand-painted murals of dancing and women in vivid colours really made the place stand out from the bland steel and cream wash of usual restaurants. It might be a little bit dated but that doesn’t take away from how eye-catching and interesting it was to just take in, and added to the whole experience of being transported somewhere else. Somewhere tenuously Tex-Mex where Native American statues, eight-foot guitars, floor-to-ceiling bars full of tequila and humorous wall signs all co-exist happily together.

Fiesta Latina interior

Overall, the experience of going to Fiesta Latina was a really great one and I can’t wait until I can go again, be impregnated with a spicy foodbaby, and get 25% off just for being a student. The staff were friendly, the bartender was the best I’ve seen, and aside from its little downfalls the place itself just has a distinctive personality that’s quirky and weird and completely memorably. Let’s all shun those chain money-makers for a while and try more independent restaurants and maybe you’ll find your new favourite restaurant.

8/10

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