Showing posts with label tragicthursdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tragicthursdays. Show all posts

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Tragic News

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The University Vice Chancellor Pay Scandal

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Hello Procrastinators!

A recently published BBC article showed the average pay of a university vice-chancellor was a staggering £260,000 a year. To put that into perspective, the average pay in the UK is £26,500, and the average student will leave university with debts of around £40,000. Madness.


Vice chancellor of York St John University
The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. These latest pay figures will give students a real sting, considering in the period that tuition fees have been trebled, vice chancellor's pay has gone up by 10%. Oh, and these figures don't include expenses, some of which total £27,000 for hotels alone from one vice chancellor.

But where is the media uproar? It's been barely reported, and it dwarfs that of the MPs expenses scandal in terms of money, they also only get paid £67,000 a year, bless them. There will be no uproar as once again the aristocratic English regime has exploited the young: the group that is so often exploited. These salaries and expenses are not coming from the tax payer, they are coming from the student having to pay their way through life, debt-ridden just so they get a decent chance a getting a half-decent job. If you're not born into money, you're going to struggle to earn it, lets face it.

Also, what does a vice chancellor actually do? They don't teach their students, in fact they spend very little time on campus at all, they spend a majority of their time abroad promoting their institution. So they're essentially getting paid hundreds of thousands of pounds to go on holiday. Hard life. In fact, most students wouldn't be able to name their vice chancellor, I certainly can't name mine. Some spearhead, eh?


Connor x

Expectations Vs. Reality of Moving Away From Home

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Hello Procrastinators!

 This week we're going to be taking a look at the expectations vs reality of moving away from home. It's something we all have to go through at some point and when it hits you're like a snail out of its shell, vulnerable, stinking and cold. 
1. Being warm

Expectation: I'm going to love living in such a cute little house with the heating always on full blast all cosy and warm in the living room with my friends!


 Reality: It costs HOW MUCH? Fuck that. Get your jumpers on lads!
2. Sharing food
Expectation: It's going to be so great this year. Me and all my housemates can fifth the food bill and we can all cook family meals together and eat around the dinner table.
Reality: That bitch ate TWO more chicken nuggets than I did. And she got a handful more crisps. That's it. I'm done. I'll buy my own food. FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

3. Your student house being homely
Expectation: FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS. THROWS. CUSHIONS. CANDLES. THE FIRE ON.
Reality: Someone stained my throw with a glass of coke and didn't even wipe it up? What kind of slobs am I living with? Fine, let's all have the ugly green sofas on show! 
4. Getting to decorate your room the way you want
Expectation: FINALLY my dictator parents can't tell me what to do. Oh my god I can have ALL my Yankee candles on display and all my favourite band posters up so everyone can know how cool and edgy I am.
Reality: LOL NOPE. Bitch you're not allowed blue tack, sellotape OR candles. That shit is worse than drugs to the room inspectors. Keep it out or keep it hidden unless you want a £50 fine.
5. Making loads of cool new mates
Expectation: Everyone I live with is going to get me. We'll be BFFs forever and lifelong pals.


 Reality: You end up with one person with severe socialisation difficulties, one person who's too goth to talk to anyone wearing colours, a chav who you fear might stab you at some point while you sleep, and a guy you're pretty sure is a necrophiliac cannibal. Nope nope nope.

6. Having a clean kitchen
Expectation: We can have a cleaning rota! We can all take turns and share all of the household chores so we can live in a well cared for, clean home and never be embarrassed.
Reality: GUYS MY MUM'S COMING TOMORROW! EMERGENCY CLEAN-UP REQUIRED! HEEEEEEEEEELP! 

7. The bin being taken out
Expectation: We can all take turns like decent human beings to take the bin out because really no one likes touching bin juice.
Reality: Two housemates deny the full bin is even in existence in the kitchen and keep piling more junk on top of it, one housemate is in full meltdown mode over how messy everything is, and one housemate ends up being the skivvy who always has to take it out.
8. Life not being too expensive
Expectation: I can't wait to go out all the time and have fun and go for meals and buy new clothes and life is going to be so amazeballs and exciting.

Reality: I didn't need those new tights anyway, these have only got three ladders in. I can pretend I'm going out for a meal by eating on the front doorstep. We can go to the Railway museum for something to do tomorrow because I heard it's free entry. Those 9p noodles look really good. Right, guys? Right?!?!

9. Having crazy house parties
Expectation: Mum and dad's not here anymore, FUCK DA POPO LET'S PARTY!

Reality: Guys the on-campus warden's just said we can't blast Celine Dion that loud any more and if we keep it up she'll make sure we get kicked out. Movie night, anyone?

What do you think? Can you relate to any of these or have you got any more you can add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!

 Jess x


Is University Worth it?

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Hello Procrastinators!

 With tuition fees at an eye-watering £9,000 a year, leaving the average student with about £40,000 of debt, there's a question every person considering university asks themselves: is it worth it?

A difficult question considering the fact that most degrees don't guarantee a job. But people with degrees do average a much higher income, which poses the argument that students should pay over the odds if they earn more than the average worker. With budget cuts and the recession, it's a very fair argument. 

But young people are the future of this country, so shouldn't they be given the best start? Not a debt saddled one. 

So, bringing me back to my original question, there's no definitive answer. A degree could propel you into a high paying job full of prospects, or you could end up working at McDonald's with lots of debt. Especially if you study dance/art/beauty etc. 

Unfortunately we live in an age full of uncertainty, so don't go to university on a whim. Go if you're passionate about the subject you're going to study, don't be put off by the money. After all, education should be for everyone, not just the rich. It'd be the opposite if the Tories got their way. 

So, yes, it is worth it. University is a fantastic experience which truly is once in a lifetime. Yes the debt is a worry, but most students will only pay half of it at the most. And with the plethora of people attaining degrees nowadays, it's a must to land your dream job. After all, a degree is better to an employer than no degree. It's expensive, but it's an investment in your future. 


Connor x

Controversial Opinion of the Day

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Hello Procrastinators! 

Feminism is bollocks. 

A controversial and rather vague statement admittedly, but a very valid one considering current affairs. There's nothing more cringeworthy than seeing a band of people spouting feminist bullshit; it's important to mention here that feminism is not exclusively female. Even the politicians are getting involved now. 
This is what a bellend looks like

 Right, I'd like to clarify the fact that I'm all for equality, everyone should be equal, no matter what their race, gender, sexuality, etc. is. But what I'm not for are people like that on jezebel.com who constantly spout anti-men hate. Especially when these people are living in a Western society which enjoys the greatest equality it ever has done, and certainly more equality than most other nations. 

The more these people campaign for 'equality' the less society is going to give them. There will always be prejudice; it's an innate human trait after all. So campaigning is highlighting the issue, something which feminists are inexplicably proud of, but in fact, they are making the problem worse. Now there's plenty of people who will disagree with this approach, but society nowadays is very accepting of most contentious issues. Read the Daily Mail and they'll tell you the opposite; but the world isn't full of hate - not in the Western world anyway. 

While the plight of women is so often harked from the rooftops, the fathers who aren't allowed to see their children and divorced men who have lost everything they worked for, are ignored. Now that's sexism. Where's men's rights? There isn't any. If you attempt to extrapolate feminism and apply it to men, you'll be called a matriarchal bigot.

This is the real travesty, yes millions of women worldwide suffer greatly, but so do men. The best way to achieve equality is to truly preach it, not lament men like the typical feminist; they weren't exactly complaining when men were dying for them during the wars.

What do you think? Comment below!


Connor x

Hot Shit & Shit

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Hello Procrastinators!

Welcome to another week of Hot Shit & Shit. This week in the firing line we have Topshop and Topman. 

Known as the suppliers for the under fifteens we all love to hate, Topman especially likes to produce clothes that are equal parts offensive and vile. If I remember correctly they were the first promoters of the low-cut male vest that came into fashion, exposing guys' hairy nipples everywhere for the first time in years. Not to mention the fact we've had to endure Kanye West-esque baggy trousers and leather t-shirts, knicker sized hotpants and disgusting patchwork shirts.

So here's a roundup of this week's best and worst of Topshop and Topman!


HOT SHIT




This dinosaur jumper is amazing. If it wasn't £30 and I wasn't living off Supernoodles I'd get it myself.




This skirt is really cool. It's just waiting to be worn out drinking. It'd go with anything, too.





This is a side of the nineties I'm actually glad to see. Woo, jelly shoes! Time for the beach and ice creams and plodging in the sea!





Not everyone's going to agree with me about this but these glasses are geeky-cool. I think they'd probably suit most people and they're vintage in a Clark Kent type of way.





This top is kind of grungey AND cheap (by Topman's standards), wooo!





There's another t-shirt where the skeleton is bigger but for some reason it's £12 more so sack that. This t-shirts simple but maaaarvelous.





This shirt is an investment. Wear it open during the day time for summer-y excursions or buttoned up for a night out. Perfect for a student budget!








SHIT





This dress isn't, like, vomit inducingly bad... But I'm pretty sure we all slated Kim K when she wore a similar dress when she was preggers. And now this is on sale for £95! WTF?!





So I'd heard that 70s clothing was coming into fashion but really this takes the biscuit. It looks like someone raided ABBA's wardrobe and then puked on it.





These are named "Destroyed Joggers". Why the hell would I want to buy joggers that look like I've been doing P.E. class in them since I was eleven? Do Topshop not realise I don't exercise in joggers? I sit on my arse in them and slob out and I have dinner medals all over them but they're still less embarrassing than these.




Hello nineties! Not only is this dress cheap and tacky, it will have people coming up to you all night asking if you've dressed like one of the Spicegirls for a joke.






Oh god, no! Please! This t-shirt is far too long it makes you look like you've borrowed your older brother's t-shirt because you're too lazy to wash your own. Not to mention the fact it looks like you've been caught in a thunderstorm. 





Do you want to dress like your dad? Because this is how you dress like your dad.





Joey Essex has a lot of things to answer for... and this is one of them. Gaaahh!





Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahahaahahaha. Hahahahahaha.



Have you seen any online atrocities that need to be shared with the world and mocked? Let us know in the comments!

Jess x



Astrological Weight Loss (Or Not)

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Hello Procrastinators!

 So, we all know the Daily Mail isn't the most reliable source of information ever. But it's still fun reading it to see who's had to avoid walking around puddles today. I'm sure you've seen this before:

Yeah. Whoever that writer was that managed to make a story out of that, preeeeetty impressive.

 So there's now a new story coming out about how your star sign can determine your weight loss. I thought it was basic knowledge that although it's fun to read your star sign, we all know it's complete bollocks? The same thing written about 1/12 of the whole population? Obviously it's not going to be tailor made for you alone. But it's fun to read and try and find some really tedious link to apply it to your own life. Anyway an "astrologer" called Gillian Knowles has decided for the whole nation what each star sign should be doing. Because obviously she knows us all so well and dieting/healthy eating isn't a completely personal thing. I also love that DM have put this article in the "Health" section of their site like it's actually going to benefit anyone.

 Here's a breakdown of what she said.
ARIES

 Go into competition with someone for losing weight. Focus on proteins rather than carbs.

 (Let's hope you're competitive then because otherwise this is going to crash and burn. And why proteins?? She gives literally no explanation)
TAURUS

 "starvation diets could make you feel deprived and pretty miserable." - Gillian Knowles.

 No shit, Sherlock!!!! You don't have to be Taurus to feel miserable when you're starving yourself.

 Apparently you should avoid sugar and over-rich foods. But shouldn't anyone who's trying to lose weight?!
GEMINI

 Avoid fast foods.

 But I thought we all went to KFC and Burger King when we were trying to shift some pounds?? 

 Christ. If you need that explaining to you, don't even bother.
CANCER

 "This is the sign of the nurturer and of course food and nutrition are all part of being nourished and cared for." - Gillian Knowles.

 Yes because without food there's a strong possibility you would die. That's not even weight loss that's just like basic survival knowledge. Thanks for the insightful advice, Gillian.

 Her top tip? Avoid unhealthy foods. Like she actually uses those words.
LEO

 I think Gillian must be a Leo because she doesn't actually give them any advice, she tells them to basically ignore anyone that says anything bad about them and get someone to compliment you all the time. So this isn't actually weight loss tips this is just "how to be a narcissist".


VIRGOS

 Make lists. Keep a food journal.

"Today I ate seven cheeseburgers, four fries and a strawberry milkshake for tea." But at least you wrote it down, so that's ok. 

 Top tip: go organic to avoid allergies.

What allergies?! I've never had allergies! What if going organic gives me allergies?
LIBRA

 Again, literally no advice here except to find a diet and stick to it. But what diet? She gives no indication. You're out on your own, Libras. Gillian's not going to help you. 
SCORPIO

 "You will willingly undertake a strict, painful fast if you feel there is transformation at the end of it." - Gillian Knowles.

 What?!?!??! WHHHAAAAATTTTTT. Don't ever tell people to starve themselves thin! That's the opposite of helping people. I sincerely hope no one seriously listens to her watery, made up bullshit because it could seriously damage people's health! I can't believe she actually promoted anorexia. Bitch.
SAGITTARIUS

 "Tip: cream, salt and sugar all have healthier substitutes" - Gillian Knowles.

 Okay, but what's your advice about how Sagittarius people should healthily lose weight? That's just eating substitutes for really bad things that should be avoided on a diet anyway. So basically nothing. We're near the end now, I think she's got no more ideas.
CAPRICORN

 Apparently you should consume calcium. So get chugging that fatty, fatty milk!!
AQUARIUS

 Don't get bored with your diet, basically. Great advice, Gillian.

 Tip: replace alcohol with ginger beer

 Or just, y'know, water or something healthy. 
PISCES

 Apparently you eat when you're thirsty and you need to dance more to release locked-in emotions. I think Gillian doesn't like you. She thinks you're a bit mental.
And there you have it. We're now all more knowledgable, wise and in touch with our bodies. Such sound advice. Thank you, Gillian.

 Jess x

Tragic but True Photos

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Hello Procrastinators!

 We've got another round of tragic but true photos to get you through these two last days until the weekend...



#bibleflaws



Dogwood Park




"Your girlfriend's new favourite restaurant"




But the cat looks so pleased




You'll read this in his voice




True dat



Goddamn



WHAT'S IN THERE YOU MONSTER



Something we can all relate to...



So if that doesn't inspire you to have no goals in life I don't know what will.

Jess x

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Should Boyhood Have Won An Oscar?

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Hello Procrastinators!

I've just finished watching Boyhood and... Wow. This film is really something special. I hadn't known what to expect, having only heard good critical reviews of it and, of course, Patricia Arquette's now infamous "feminist" Oscar acceptance speech. I decided not to look it up at all and just view it as a film that taken 12 years - itself an achievement. 


The film opens beautifully to Coldplay's Yellow. In fact the film has a really amazing soundtrack that I'm going to have to buy. The opening shot is clouds and a seven-year-old Mason (Ellar Coltrane) daydreaming. The first hour of seeing Ellar, the actor himself, grow and change in front of your very eyes is a lovely and captivating experience. To be honest, the film wouldn't be nearly as fascinating without the real-time growth aspect. Seeing all of the actors age and their weight gain, weight loss, different hairstyles, new wrinkles, growth in height, it all adds to the palatable realism of the events taking place. It doesn't take long to be completely consumed by this film, sucked in to every situation and emotion and the tangled web of the characters’ lives. The first half of the film is truly spectacular. Just living Mason’s life with him, his dad trying to reconnect and his mother trying to move on with her life, is really believable and emotional stuff. His sister, Samantha (Lorelei Linklater – the director’s daughter) transforms from a bitchy, spoilt brat to a caring, laid-back older sister, and the two actors work really well together. In a film like this one, believability is so important and all of the actors are on top form, never overacting and interacting as though they had known each other their whole lives. One character in particular who I won't name just seemed “off” to us but we couldn't put our finger on why and the ever-so-subtle foreshadowing was greatly satisfying when our suspicions were realised.


The second half, however, seems to drag. I won’t spoil the story but the first half has much more tension and fear and plot propulsion so you can’t even bear to take your eyes away for a second in case you miss something important in the little boy’s, and as an important extension of that his mother’s, life. There are no big puzzles to solve or questions that need answering except how it will end for all of the characters. I suppose that’s because it’s based on real life where nothing big usually does ever happen, it’s the small things that make up the turbulence of everyday life. It’s nice to see Mason grow and change and go through all of the firsts that come with being a teenager, though. First kiss, first girlfriend and the awkwardness and bumbling along like you have a clue what you're doing that comes along with it all. It's something everyone watching can relate to and it's nostalgic in a touching, personal way. It’s interesting to see possible girlfriends fade away without much acknowledgement and his girlfriends you assume are going to last forever only last a little while. Nothing can be predicted and the happy endings you expect in some instances happen and in others don’t at all.


I really loved the film, connecting emotionally with the whole extended family and watching their progression like you know them. Afterwards when I researched the film I found that it's about as near to perfection for a film as any could get according to the hard-to-please critics. 100% on Metacritic, 98% on Rotten Tomatoes, 82% on IMDb. It’s only one of eleven films ever to have 100% on Metacritic. Even Barack Obama and Christopher Nolan, director of 2014's Interstellar, said it was their favourite film of the year. Pretty amazing figures for such a low budget film. If the whole film had stayed as brilliant as the first hour then I would agree with them but the lagging pace of the end let the film down in my opinion, including the lack of closure for certain characters. I think if the duration had been shaved down from two hours forty minutes then it would have been improved vastly.


However in regards to the Oscar nomination I think this film's lagging conclusion really was its downfall. Had the time been tightened up it would have been a brilliant contender, and that is a real shame. Patricia Arquette was good as the emotional mother making bad choices and trying her best but I didn't think her performance was in any way stand-out. She cried and smiled in the right places but acted no better than anyone else in the film. Perhaps the children should have been given more credit considering they had to grow up on camera without as much training as the others. Overall I think the film should have won, but Patricia Arquette not so much. This film was a spectacular experience but I think it's perhaps getting credit well beyond its due. 

8/10


Jess x