Tragic Politicians

Hello Procrastinators!

In line with Tragic Thursdays, this is a slightly more serious post focusing on the recent 'cash for access' scandal and the effects this has on the public's confidence, especially young people, in politicians. You can read the original story here.

So basically what it has shown us is what most cynics already suspected: British politics are corrupt. Not as corrupt as most other democracies, but Britain has prided itself on being clean and this has proved it is quite the opposite. 

Standard politician

The fact that Jack Straw and Sir Malcolm Rifkind not only offered to sell their political power for money but also had the tenacity to complain that their £67,000 wage is not enough to satisfy their lifestyles really is an insult to the British public that they readily betrayed.

But we are used to it, young people especially. So this will not be felt as much by the far left or right, staunch Labour or Conservative supporters or even the UKIP bigots, but it will really rile young people, who have already had EMA cut, tuition fees tripled and will now also be forced to work for less than £2 an hour under Cameron. Riots, anyone?

Accurate representation

That could, and should, well be a very real possibility soon. The average wage for a uni graduate is £21,000; an MP earns £67,000 plus expenses. But the sad thing is that things will not change unless people vote. Pensioners have the highest voting rate of any age group, hence why they get generous state pensions, heat allowance, free bus passes and so on. Whereas 18-24 year olds have the lowest voting rate - I highly doubt the fact that young people are so often ignored by politicians is coincidental. 

This led to young people feeling increasingly disenfranchised - and unfortunately - gave birth to Clegg mania. The first time in years that young people collectively voted for a person they trusted and he viciously fucked them over with the tripling of tuition fees.

So is it really any wonder that young people no longer vote? But we are now stuck in a downward spiral of slimy politicians and coalitions. And the only way this can be fixed is by young people standing up to these arseholes and voting for a decent party, possibly the Greens or Labour, but no more Conservatives and Lib Dems. So if you're reading this I implore you to vote, for the sake of your future.

Connor x

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Stupid Sports Stories of the Week

Hello Procrastinators!

Here's a few sport-related stories which are tragic, hilarious or ridiculous. Or a mix of the three.

TAKEDOWN

A move the Undertaker himself would be proud of. If this was the Premier League, the world would be up in arms about football condoning violence, but it's non-league so we're allowed to enjoy a good old fashion body slam.


An untimely reminder that racism still plays a big part in football



The now infamous Paris Metro incident highlights the fact that football will always create hooliganism, but the latest example from Chelsea fans is not only embarrassing for English football, but also a disgusting display of racism.

Mayweather v Pacquiao - finally!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/boxing/31565130

Its official, the fight between Money and the Pacman is finally happening on the 2nd of May at the MGM, Las Vegas. If this happened 5 years ago when both fighters were in their prime, I'd be buzzing with excitement, but lets face it, it's a fight between two has-beens looking to cash in on a final fight.

What are Brentford thinking?!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/31489212

Mark Warburton, the man who led Brentford from a mid-table League One side to a team fighting for the play-offs in the Championship has been sacked. Madness. The reasoning behind this is a continental restructuring, involving a head coach and a sporting director. Good luck with that Brentford.

Matic v Barnes




Ashley Barnes performs a horror tackle on Nemanja Matic, to which he responds, understandably, with a mammoth push. And who gets sent off? Matic! What a farce. It's also been announced today that no further action will be taken on Barnes. Ridiculous.

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The Rise and Fall of the Arctic Monkeys

Hello Procrastinators!

The Arctic Monkeys are one of the hottest properties in music at the moment: headlining festivals such as Leeds and Glastonbury, embarking on a worldwide tour and releasing another number 1 album. There's the rise, but also the fall. Through their Americanisation and re-branding of the band they have alienated their original audience: the British youth.

Yes, every band has to change and evolve to remain successful, but Arctic Monkeys seem to have forgotten their original identity. They now live in sunny LA, not dingy ol' Sheffield, a move which Alex Turner defended by saying that "LA is built on rock 'n' roll". True, but this just remonstrates how they've forgotten where they've come from.

Well, haven't they just grown up? I hear you wail at me. Their recent antics suggest not. The now infamous Alex Turner acceptance speech at the BRITs screamed out a desperate attempt to be different.

The original Arctic Monkeys were different without even making a conscious effort to be. Their first album, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, exploded onto the scene and revolutionised British rock with its 'we don't give a fuck attitude'. The music had little meaning or moral message, it was about lads getting pissed, prostitutes, chavs, etc. and that was its brilliance. Pure unadulterated simplicity. Compare that to the most recent album, AM, which features a crescendo of different instruments and sounds, whilst also sounding remarkably similar to each other. It lacks soul and charisma, don't get me wrong some of the songs are very good, but as a lifelong Arctic Monkeys fan, it just clouds me with disappointment. It sounds like most generic indie/rock bands out there at the moment, not the genre-splitting Arctic Monkeys of 2005.

2005 Alex Turner

2015 Alex Turner

Then there's the front man, Alex Turner, once a scrawny northern lad with voice-breaking vocals, but now he's an international superstar and sex symbol, pursuing well-documented relationships with the likes of Alexa Chung and Arielle Vanderburg. 

The Arctic Monkeys are experiencing unprecedented levels of popularity and commercial success at the moment. But this is amongst adolescents and hipsters, not their original group of fans. It's now 'cool' to like them, so now you see people clad head-to-toe in merchandise but the only song they know is Do I Wanna Know? 

So, gone are the days of dodgy, but brilliant rhymes, like 'sumet' and 'stomach' and enter the days of deep, meaningful lyrics. Yuk. I wonder how long it'll be before they turn into Coldplay?

Connor x 



  

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Review: The Wedding Ringer (2015)

To give a summary of this film: I have never laughed so hard or so much in the cinema in my whole life. As the film was only released yesterday (I saw this on Saturday 21st February) I was expecting mega packed screens full of annoying teenagers showing off in front of their friends by shouting random shit during the adverts. We prebooked hours before the film was due to start and picked a late showing just in case. 

THE best scene

We needn't have bothered, as the cinema was only half full (and that's probably being generous). However it meant no awkward elbow armrest battles or finding somewhere to shove my coat and bag. I'd seen the advert for the film before Taken 3 and was surprised how much we all laughed at just the preview, and Kevin "you gon' learn TODAY" Hart in a starring role just the week after we binge-watched all of his stand up shows seemed like a pretty good sign to see this film. I am so glad I did.

"The Boys"

I wasn't expecting much; a generic run-of-the-mill type romcom maybe saved by the natural comedic talent of Kevin Hart. What we got in return was a hilariously eccentric dog-with-rabies-crazy film that had the whole screen belly laughing the whole way through. There wasn't a dud joke or a filler scene. Well, maybe except for when there was about ten minutes dedicated to emotional, slushy dialogue about how women are "naturally more nurturing" and how friendships are so amazingawesomeemotionallyfulfilling. Aside from that every scene is surprising and fresh.

The characters are quite stereotypical and they do generalise men and women, black, white and Hispanic, old and young; but in such a short time frame they haven't got time or capabilities within a comedy to make new and fully rounded characters for the audience to bond with. In this film, stock characters still make for cheek-achingly hilarity that doesn't feel old or overdone. However the soundtrack is great, with forgotten tracks like The Big Bang by Rock Mafia ft. Miley Cyrus - which I'm sure was a reference to Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting who plays the blushing bride annoyingly, bitchily well.

The Bachelor Party

The film obviously took some inspiration from films such as The Hangover and Bridesmaids and definitely Hitch and even from Kevin Hart's own stand up material but that made it no less entertaining. My friend and I predicted practically the whole plot from the very beginning scenes with minor details being incorrect but that didn't take away from how much I rooted for the main characters and was excited to see the comeuppance of the bridezilla. But comedies are, by their very nature, formulaic, and this film didn't try and veer away from standard procedures, but the end result is something I'd happily pay to go and see again.

The film hasn't been advertised nearly enough and if you read the ratings on Google there's not a chance this film will do well; but if you take a chance on this risk-avoiding film you will honestly not be disappointed. Kevin Hart and Josh Gad work so well together and on a second viewing I'm sure more subtle jokes will be found. Ten minutes after we left the cinema I understood the joke Hurley from Lost's character cracks just as the film finishes. For what that is... you'll have to watch and see!

9/10

Jess x

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The Best News of the Week

Hello Procrastinators! 

To transform your dismal morning into a Happy Monday I’ve collected some of the best and weirdest news stories of the week. 

Let’s start with making ourselves feel better about being British and living in this cold, wet weather. At least we aren’t American. One third of Americans don’t know that Earth revolves around the sun and not the other way around. It was only a two choice question – Earth around the Sun or Sun around the Earth? - so the results might not even as depressing as they should be. Panicked stabs in the dark have possibly skewed the outcome.

Also, Steven Speilberg is now more popular than God. Well at the Oscars, anyway. He got forty two shout outs compared to God’s mere nineteen. Who needs him? He’s probably never even watched a film, the cheat.

That crappy part-time job you wish you never even got hired for? Don’t despair – it could be your path to a future fortune. A fifteen year old girl who began her career as a babysitter now earns nearly half a million dollars a year with her rent-a-nanny company. To be fair, she started up with her dad's money but nonetheless still an amazing achievement for a teenager. She’s just had to hire a chief exec to handle her business while she’s at high school. So the next time you’re handing out food orders to ungrateful customers, fake a smile – they could be your future clients at your restaurant.

Just to make their country even more amazing, Finland have started painting deer’s antlers with glow in the dark paint to prevent them being run over. Last year 4,000 deer were killed on the road. They literally now look like the most bad-ass animals to ever exist. Just look at them! Amazing.

Now don't you just wish you were a deer, Steven Spielberg, or a fifteen year old girl? Okay, maybe not...

Jess x

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Review - Fiesta Latina

What a hidden, ignored gem in the centre of York!

Fiesta Latina exterior

York, though it prides itself on being full of independent businesses, has a surprising lack of non-chain brand restaurants. My boyfriend, his parents and I went for the early bird special so we’d get the 25% discount which you can grab every day between 4-6pm and on Tuesdays and Sundays all day for students – which, on our tiny-weeny budgets, is great.

Potato skins and half-eaten cheesy garlic bread

The starters were the best part about the whole meal, perhaps because I was so ravenous I’d happily have eaten the plastic Native American statue we passed on the way in, with potato skins and garlic bread slathered in melted cheese accompanied with a fruity salsa. My only qualm was the cheesy garlic bread was actually more like cheese on toast with no garlic to speak of. I love my garlic and this was a bit disappointing. A little bit off-putting while we ate were the huddle of four waitresses who would stand next to the bar near our table and chat together without even an attempt at looking busy for the most part of our time there. I’ve been a waitress and we were never allowed to stand idly around, there is always cleaning or tending to customers to be done.

Enchilada main course

The mains were a hefty portion worthy of the most clinically obese patient after a fasting session. My boyfriend couldn’t even finish his, and he finishes everything. It was delicious too and I wished I could have had some Hunger Games-style feast drink so I could have eaten it all. I had enchiladas with yet more melted cheese. Again the only problems were, because I chose mild (because I’m a pussy) the enchiladas were kind of flavourless. They hadn’t replaced the spice with any other herbs, but the cheese kind of made up for it. I love cheese.

Shirley Collins cocktail

They do 2-4-1 cocktails too. And it would be rude not to, really. I had the Shirley Collins (wahey) a raspberry cocktail with gin and it was delicious, you couldn’t even taste the alcohol so obviously I accidentally drank it in about three gulps. The bartender – a total Ross Kemp lookalike - was extremely professional and talented with added flourishes and bottle-spinning so the cocktails were an experience as well as a tasty treat. He chatted with us while he made our drinks and was funny too. Damn him!

Ceiling art

The decor of the place was really unique and fun to look at. Hand-painted murals of dancing and women in vivid colours really made the place stand out from the bland steel and cream wash of usual restaurants. It might be a little bit dated but that doesn’t take away from how eye-catching and interesting it was to just take in, and added to the whole experience of being transported somewhere else. Somewhere tenuously Tex-Mex where Native American statues, eight-foot guitars, floor-to-ceiling bars full of tequila and humorous wall signs all co-exist happily together.

Fiesta Latina interior

Overall, the experience of going to Fiesta Latina was a really great one and I can’t wait until I can go again, be impregnated with a spicy foodbaby, and get 25% off just for being a student. The staff were friendly, the bartender was the best I’ve seen, and aside from its little downfalls the place itself just has a distinctive personality that’s quirky and weird and completely memorably. Let’s all shun those chain money-makers for a while and try more independent restaurants and maybe you’ll find your new favourite restaurant.

8/10

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Two More Days...

Hello Procrastinators!

I hope everyone is as excited for Monday 23rd February as we are for the very first official day of Cheeky Chinwag!

For our very first Happy Monday feature we've got how-to lists, reviews, stories, articles, recommendations and much more to make sure you get through Mondays alive and with sanity intact.

Keep a reminder in your phone or favourite our page so you don't miss out.

Cheeky Chinwag x

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Hello!

Hello Procrastinators!


Welcome to our new blog!

Just a quick post to let you know what you're gonna get from us. We'll be posting loads of different stuff to break those awkward silences.
We're gonna be posting bi-weekly on Mondays and Thursdays so make sure you don't miss out!

Happy Mondays

• Uplifting videos, songs, films and pictures
• Cheesy throwback tune
• Shits 'n' Gigs - money saving tips, uni/life survival guides
• Musings to make your Monday better
• Album of the week
• Student Holiday Destination of the Week
• The Best News Stories
• Frank But True Opinions
• Charity of the Week

Tragic Thursdays

• Hot Shit & Shit - the best and worst of everything of the week
• Cringey, laughable stuff
• Expectations vs. reality of everyday life
• Tragic tune of the week
• Worst Holiday Destination of the Week
• The Most Tragic/Cringiest/Strangest News Stories of the Week
• Controversial Opinion of the Day

All this as well as a monthly Talking Bollocks (drunk) vlog and reviews of films, nightclubs, music, takeaways, restaurants, random articles and much more!

Come back on Monday 23rd Feburary 2015 for our official launch day!

Cheeky Chinwag x

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