Expectations Vs. Reality of Moving Away From Home

Hello Procrastinators!

This week we're going to be taking a look at the expectations vs reality of moving away from home. It's something we all have to go through at some point and when it hits you're like a snail out of its shell, vulnerable, stinking and cold. 

1. Being warm

Expectation: I'm going to love living in such a cute little house with the heating always on full blast all cosy and warm in the living room with my friends!


Reality: It costs HOW MUCH? Fuck that. Get your jumpers on lads!

2. Sharing food

Expectation: It's going to be so great this year. Me and all my housemates can fifth the food bill and we can all cook family meals together and eat around the dinner table.


Reality: That bitch ate TWO more chicken nuggets than I did. And she got a handful more crisps. That's it. I'm done. I'll buy my own food. FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

3. Your student house being homely

Expectation: FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS. THROWS. CUSHIONS. CANDLES. THE FIRE ON.


Reality: Someone stained my throw with a glass of coke and didn't even wipe it up? What kind of slobs am I living with? Fine, let's all have the ugly green sofas on show! 

4. Getting to decorate your room the way you want

Expectation: FINALLY my dictator parents can't tell me what to do. Oh my god I can have ALL my Yankee candles on display and all my favourite band posters up so everyone can know how cool and edgy I am.


Reality: LOL NOPE. Bitch you're not allowed blue tack, sellotape OR candles. That shit is worse than drugs to the room inspectors. Keep it out or keep it hidden unless you want a £50 fine.

5. Making loads of cool new mates

Expectation: Everyone I live with is going to get me. We'll be BFFs forever and lifelong pals.


Reality: You end up with one person with severe socialisation difficulties, one person who's too goth to talk to anyone wearing colours, a chav who you fear might stab you at some point while you sleep, and a guy you're pretty sure is a necrophiliac cannibal. Nope nope nope.

6. Having a clean kitchen

Expectation: We can have a cleaning rota! We can all take turns and share all of the household chores so we can live in a well cared for, clean home and never be embarrassed.


Reality: GUYS MY MUM'S COMING TOMORROW! EMERGENCY CLEAN-UP REQUIRED! HEEEEEEEEEELP! 

7. The bin being taken out

Expectation: We can all take turns like decent human beings to take the bin out because really no one likes touching bin juice.


Reality: Two housemates deny the full bin is even in existence in the kitchen and keep piling more junk on top of it, one housemate is in full meltdown mode over how messy everything is, and one housemate ends up being the skivvy who always has to take it out.

8. Life not being too expensive

Expectation: I can't wait to go out all the time and have fun and go for meals and buy new clothes and life is going to be so amazeballs and exciting.



Reality: I didn't need those new tights anyway, these have only got three ladders in. I can pretend I'm going out for a meal by eating on the front doorstep. We can go to the Railway museum for something to do tomorrow because I heard it's free entry. Those 9p noodles look really good. Right, guys? Right?!?!

9. Having crazy house parties

Expectation: Mum and dad's not here anymore, FUCK DA POPO LET'S PARTY!



Reality: Guys the on-campus warden's just said we can't blast Celine Dion that loud any more and if we keep it up she'll make sure we get kicked out. Movie night, anyone?



What do you think? Can you relate to any of these or have you got any more you can add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!

Jess x