Expectations Vs. Reality of Moving Away From Home

Hello Procrastinators!

This week we're going to be taking a look at the expectations vs reality of moving away from home. It's something we all have to go through at some point and when it hits you're like a snail out of its shell, vulnerable, stinking and cold. 

1. Being warm

Expectation: I'm going to love living in such a cute little house with the heating always on full blast all cosy and warm in the living room with my friends!


Reality: It costs HOW MUCH? Fuck that. Get your jumpers on lads!

2. Sharing food

Expectation: It's going to be so great this year. Me and all my housemates can fifth the food bill and we can all cook family meals together and eat around the dinner table.


Reality: That bitch ate TWO more chicken nuggets than I did. And she got a handful more crisps. That's it. I'm done. I'll buy my own food. FUCK ALL Y'ALL!

3. Your student house being homely

Expectation: FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS FAIRY LIGHTS. THROWS. CUSHIONS. CANDLES. THE FIRE ON.


Reality: Someone stained my throw with a glass of coke and didn't even wipe it up? What kind of slobs am I living with? Fine, let's all have the ugly green sofas on show! 

4. Getting to decorate your room the way you want

Expectation: FINALLY my dictator parents can't tell me what to do. Oh my god I can have ALL my Yankee candles on display and all my favourite band posters up so everyone can know how cool and edgy I am.


Reality: LOL NOPE. Bitch you're not allowed blue tack, sellotape OR candles. That shit is worse than drugs to the room inspectors. Keep it out or keep it hidden unless you want a £50 fine.

5. Making loads of cool new mates

Expectation: Everyone I live with is going to get me. We'll be BFFs forever and lifelong pals.


Reality: You end up with one person with severe socialisation difficulties, one person who's too goth to talk to anyone wearing colours, a chav who you fear might stab you at some point while you sleep, and a guy you're pretty sure is a necrophiliac cannibal. Nope nope nope.

6. Having a clean kitchen

Expectation: We can have a cleaning rota! We can all take turns and share all of the household chores so we can live in a well cared for, clean home and never be embarrassed.


Reality: GUYS MY MUM'S COMING TOMORROW! EMERGENCY CLEAN-UP REQUIRED! HEEEEEEEEEELP! 

7. The bin being taken out

Expectation: We can all take turns like decent human beings to take the bin out because really no one likes touching bin juice.


Reality: Two housemates deny the full bin is even in existence in the kitchen and keep piling more junk on top of it, one housemate is in full meltdown mode over how messy everything is, and one housemate ends up being the skivvy who always has to take it out.

8. Life not being too expensive

Expectation: I can't wait to go out all the time and have fun and go for meals and buy new clothes and life is going to be so amazeballs and exciting.



Reality: I didn't need those new tights anyway, these have only got three ladders in. I can pretend I'm going out for a meal by eating on the front doorstep. We can go to the Railway museum for something to do tomorrow because I heard it's free entry. Those 9p noodles look really good. Right, guys? Right?!?!

9. Having crazy house parties

Expectation: Mum and dad's not here anymore, FUCK DA POPO LET'S PARTY!



Reality: Guys the on-campus warden's just said we can't blast Celine Dion that loud any more and if we keep it up she'll make sure we get kicked out. Movie night, anyone?



What do you think? Can you relate to any of these or have you got any more you can add to the list? Let us know in the comments below!

Jess x

Read More

Expectations vs Reality of Living in York

Hello Procrastinators! 

York is a beautiful city entrenched in history, with plenty of sights to see and places to eat and drink. It is the ideal place to spend a weekend with the family or as a romantic getaway. Living in it, however, is a completely different story.

The Minster

Expectation: I can't wait to be able to look at the Minster everyday and admire its beauty. It truly is one of the finest pieces of Gothic architecture around. I'm sure the prices are reasonable to look inside it.

Reality: It's just a massive fucking church which is constantly surrounded by gormless tourists making it harder to walk into town. Yeah it's pretty but like every building, once you've seen it, you've seen it. 10 fucking quid to look inside?!

The Shambles

Expectation: Wow it's just like being back in the Victorian period. All these little shops look so unique and cute. It is like I'm living in history.

Reality: Bloody hell these streets are narrow. Why is everyone pointlessly meandering at the speed of a snail? Well at least the shops prices must be reasonable. Or not.

Nightlife

Expectation: York has the greatest concentration of pubs and bars in the country so the nightlife must be pretty good, right? There must be loads of bands playing, celebrities appearing at nightclubs and plenty of clubs to choose from.

Reality: Pretty much every club has a sticky floor and charges you a fiver to stand on it. There's no arenas, so no bands, comedians or anything decent. But there is opera. Great. One saving grace is the amount of varied pubs and cocktail bars. But you might as well just travel 20 miles and go to Leeds.

Things to do

Expectation: With the National Railway Museum, Jorvik Centre, Dungeons and much more, there must be plenty of things to do. York's well known for being a tourist magnet, so they must all come for a reason, right?

Reality: For a weekend you can easily fill your time with York's attractions, but much longer than that and you're going to struggle; especially on a tight budget. The few free things (the walls, museums, etc.) soon wear out and you'll find yourself struggling to find things to do. 

The people

Expectation: York is advertised as being one of the friendliest and most welcoming places in Britain. It is famous for being depicted as a posh, upper-class, Conservative haven.

Reality: This expectation is largely true actually. As an outsider, the residents of York are rather odd. It's difficult to pin it down, but there's just something peculiar about them. Maybe it's the real reason tourists flock to York.

York can be a fantastic place, and when I'm away from it for a while, I miss it. But I'm a cynic. Whilst it isn't the most practical place to live, it's an excellent place to visit or retire. But that's about it.

Connor x

Read More