Hello Procrastinators!
Welcome to our very first Hot Shit & Shit!
This week's HS&S will include the best and worst of Urban Outfitters! I can't imagine they'll be missing from many of these weekly instalments to be honest. We've all been in there. We know that Urban Outfitters can't always make good decisions - like this feature is going to prove. They go with cray things that makes us all wonder who actually buys that crap.
Now hold onto your pasties (all will be explained later) and read on...
HOT SHIT
For the men - this t-shirt is cool. If you wear this t-shirt, you'll make new friends, have instant charm and confidence, and the ladies won't be able to stop staring at your sunny-yet-rebellious t-shirt reflective of your complicated personality. A great point about this £35 t-shirt is it's not made of cling film like Primark's t-shirts and your nipples won't show through the fabric. Nobody wants their nips to say hello before their mouth even gets a chance.
Crystal necklaces are making a big comeback and they're starting to creep back into fashion shops all over. This one's a little pricey for a student budget at £22 but there's a whole range of colours and styles to fit every outfit or mood. Hippie-ish even without flares or platform shoes.
This is a pretty amazing design. And small enough to sneak into nightclubs. What could be better? £12 so wait until it goes on sale.
Fried egg wall clock. So cute! This would be great in our student kitchen where the 50 year old wooden clock still says it's nearly seven o'clock. All day, every day.
SHIT
These women's trainers, just £92 (!!!!!!!) from Urban Outfitters remind me of those awful memories of school when you'd lose or wreck a good pair of your P.E. trainers and your mum would have to nip to ASDA to get you some more because nowhere else was open and THIS shitastrophe would be the result and you'd seriously have to contemplate doing tennis or ending it all then and there. Really? People are paying £92 for the priveledge of wearing trainers (in Sunderland circa 2005 these would have been called "pastys") that would have gotten you bullied for weeks?
Ah. This dress is really just something else, isn't it? I can see how this is considered fashion. Because who doesn't want to dress in a denim potato sack that's seen one too many harvests? Even the model looks pissed off that she's been the unlucky one chosen to represent this piece of crap. Just 5500 pence and it's yours!
What? Just... what?!?!?! These iron-on badges found in the men's section - are they even legal? Like, what if you're arrested for impersonating an army officer? On another level, who even irons on badges anymore? Didn't that stop being cool in 2010 when emos, their bags and denim jackets covered in the things, slowly began dying off in favour of becoming hipsters? And its going to cost you ten whole pounds for the dishonour!
Let's all just take a moment to truly appreciate this hat. It's a bit confused, bless it. It's a hat that thinks it's a pair of Adidas shoes. These hats are only appropriate when worn by middle aged German tourists with socks and sandals. Or smack heads at music festivals who don't even know where they are never mind what's on top of their head. The fact it's called a "bucket" hat just attests to that, really. If you don't fit into either of those categories and you still wear these kind of hats, it's time to admit you're just a dick head. Soz.
Just in case it isn't clear - this is a pack of 50 small cards each with "crushing on you" stamped onto it. Why, you might ask? Good fucking question. What's the point? No one would reasonably give this to anyone they like-liked and in any case who uses "crushing" as an actual word outside of the film Clueless?
I have a love/hate relationship with Urban Outfitters. They're cray in deciding what to stock but they do have good sales which, as a student, are the only way you'll ever end up in a new piece of UO's clothing.
I hope we all enjoyed these few minutes of judgement on the ever-growing hipster paradise that is Urban Outfitters.
Jess x
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